It’s me. Hi! Anything new? Oh, well, my wife had our third baby! Number Three arrived earlier than expected at the tail end of September, and suffice to say that life has not been the same. Though I have been planning to write this update for weeks, it’s been hard to find the time. I’ve worked on balancing my writing goals and content plans with giving myself the grace I would give others similarly situated—it’s hard enough to find time with two kids, throw in a newborn and well, a lot of things tend to go out the window. But this is me trying (yes, that is a reference to a Taylor Swift song). Here is my first (and perhaps only) postcard from paternity leave: life so far with our third baby.

If you’re new here, I have been eagerly anticipating the arrival of our third baby girl as I’ve tried to balance fatherhood, work, this blog, and progress on my novels. As I previously mentioned, I was curious about how she would be, how she would look, and how our family dynamic would change. Parents of multiple children know how a new child can blow up the family rhythm, and after barely surviving our two-under-two phase, I knew what to expect with a new kid, which is to say that I had no idea what to expect with a new third kid.

The First Shock: An Early Arrival

The initial shock to my system came the very the day she arrived. Over a week before her due date, my wife went to a routine appointment and for various reasons she was admitted to the hospital on short notice. Of course, it was the ONE appointment throughout the entire pregnancy that she took our older kids with her—it was a busy week for me, and I was working on wrapping things up before paternity leave, so we figured since it was a routine appointment, might as well get them out of the house. Not the best idea, in hindsight. I had to find a way to get my kids home, arrange for their care, then get the hospital, which I was thankfully able to do just before our third arrived. We had to lean on some people for help, and as someone who does not like to ask for help, I am so so thankful for those people. It was an exhausting, somewhat worrisome day, topped off with a beautiful new baby smiling up at me all before midnight. Things happen fast around here.

An Unexpected Return

Some things did kind of go unexpectedly, as they do. On the second day we were home from the initial hospital visit, my wife was readmitted for other reasons (because it’s her health I am not publicizing that here), and her and I had to return to the hospital for several more days—with a newborn in tow. A hospital was the last place I wanted my newborn to be, but my wife needed care. I won’t go into specifics for personal reasons, but it was a nerve wracking few days, filled with sleepless nights, beeping machines, arguments with her caretakers, and a crying baby merely a few days old. Time has such a way of removing us from a situation. As I write this, I look back to those days, and can feel both how I felt then, that we were trapped and away from our other kids, and how I feel now, which is a state of wonder: did that actually happen? It did, as my wife would say.

We Made it Home: Now What?

Thankfully, my wife was eventually discharged, and both her and baby are doing fine. But it was a scare, and not something I want to endure again. As for things back on the ranch, it has been hectic to say the least. Sure, this is our third kid and we kind of know the deal, but I can’t help but be reminded of the ending of Finding Nemo (I promise I watch non-Disney/Pixar films, too) when the aquarium fish finally escape to find themselves in the open ocean but still in their plastic bags. After a brief pause, the pufferfish asks what we are all thinking: “Now what?”

Speaking of the older two, they are deep in their routines, preferences, and demands, and while both love their sister and are so considerate and kind towards her, they sometimes don’t understand why she needs to sleep so often—or why she cries so much! And they all have such big feelings and needs (I should note that they are all under four years of age) and our house sometimes feels like a continuous cycle of screaming. By the end of the day my wife and I are spent, unable to watch a few minutes of a show or movie before losing focus. And then the newborn starts crying. Rinse and repeat. To those that have called and checked in: thank you for doing that, and thank you for understanding that as much I was would love outside interaction, most days my brain just needs to sit in silence.

There are beautiful moments, too, of course. Seeing the older two meet their sister for the first time was so special. How they ask about her—how is she? is she hungry? How they tell us what they think we should do when she is crying (“i don’t think she likes the car very much,” says my observant eldest, true to form). My now middle child is perhaps the most taken, often letting us know that it’s fine, that she will take care of the baby. We should be so lucky!

Finding A Groove, or Something Like It

We are also slowly finding something close to a groove. Number Three has been having somewhat longer sleeping spells at night, and she is so bright and cheery when awake now. The first few weeks consisted mostly of crying when she would wake, and I don’t blame her. We go on our treasured “family walks” where we clear our heads and talk about the moon, and the sky, and the airplanes passing by, the flowers, and the cats crawling by; the hills we climb, and the squirrels we spot, and all the things that kids like. The things we tend not to notice as much now that we are adults. It is both wonderful and saddening to see them growing so quickly, to witness them interact with the world and to be able to communicate their thoughts. It’s wonderful because I have a front row seat in watching them grow and be happy. It’s saddening because sometimes I feel like I am watching a memory, one that is fleeting before my eyes. And such is the life of a parent: exhausted beyond belief, constantly seeking quiet time and space to do the things we want, only to watch the kids sleep and wonder how they are doing and eagerly await for them to wake up again.

Looking Forward

As for what’s on the horizon? Enjoying the remaining days of my paternity leave. We managed to survive our first family trip with all three—and it is Disney-related, of course—at Disney’s Hilton Head Island Resort. (Here’s my guide to the resort with tips for parents, if you’re interested.) We have one Disney World trip on the books for next year, but other than that, we are taking it easy.

I will continue to provide updates like this one, and to publish Disney news and guides to the Disney Parks. I also have few projects up my sleeve I can’t wait to share about—remember my brief mention of novels in progress above? I don’t know what is to come of said projects, but I am for some reason feeling more comfortable talking about them, and putting them into the ether.

Stay tuned, and see ya real soon.